‘I Am Hurting A Lot’: What IIT Delhi Student Told His Mother Hours Before Death

A 31-year-old MSc Physics student at IIT Delhi, who allegedly died by suicide on August 22, had spoken to his mother about his pain, suicidal thoughts and repeated setbacks just hours before he was found dead on the institute campus.

Rishikesh Kumar, who had been struggling with mental health issues, broke down during the conversation with his mother, Asha Poddar, telling her that he was “hurting a lot” and felt he was unable to achieve anything despite having the talent to clear competitive examinations.

The student was later found after allegedly jumping from the sixth floor of a building on the IIT Delhi campus. He was rushed to the institute's campus hospital, where he was declared brought dead. Police said no suicide note was recovered from the spot, while a mobile phone found in his pocket was seized and is being examined.

Recalling her conversation with her son a day before his death, Asha Poddar told NDTV in a telephonic interview that Rishikesh had cried extensively and spoken about his struggles.

“Last night, he cried a lot, saying, 'Mummy, I am hurting a lot. I'm even afraid of suicide; I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do that either. I am useless, good for nothing. Despite having talent, I am unable to achieve anything in this world. It must be some flaw from a past life that prevents me from accomplishing anything, even with so much success and talent. I have enough talent to clear any competitive exam, yet obstacles keep cropping up in my studies. One problem after another arises - something or the other always happens - forcing my education to come to a halt. What am I supposed to do now?'”

According to his mother, Rishikesh had faced several setbacks during his education. He had to drop out of NIT Rourkela in 2014 following his father's death. He later graduated in Physics from Magadh University between 2022 and 2025.

At IIT Delhi, he was undergoing treatment and had been advised to remain under “continuous parental supervision”. His mother had moved with him off campus.

Rishikesh's brother, Abhishek Kumar, said his brother had confided in their mother about having suicidal thoughts and that the family had also consulted a doctor.

“He was telling Mummy, that 'I'm having suicidal thoughts'. We even spoke to a doctor about it. He kept saying, 'Mummy, my life is meaningless; I don't want to live anymore.”

Abhishek said Rishikesh had complained of severe headaches and difficulty thinking clearly and had repeatedly expressed a desire to return home to Patna.

“He was saying so many things - complaining that his head felt like it was splitting with pain, saying he couldn't think straight anymore and felt his life was over,” his brother said.

Rishikesh had withdrawn from the semester, which initially made him happy because he believed he would be able to return home without the pressure of college, Abhishek said.

“He didn't even want to stay at IIT; despite having withdrawn from the semester - which initially made him happy because he thought he'd be going home tension-free - he was under immense stress. He kept saying every day, 'Mummy, let's go to Patna quickly; let's go home'.”

Abhishek said he had tried to reason with his brother that night, asking him not to do anything drastic, to get some sleep and speak to a doctor. Rishikesh, he added, had convinced himself that he was suffering from migraines.

According to Abhishek, getting into IIT Delhi had been Rishikesh's “only dream” and “his craze”.